Self-care – Sam Falco

Counting Down…

December 17, 2022Sam Falco

Today, on the twelfth day of isolation,* I tested negative. I was almost afraid to take it. I squinted real hard at the test after the timer went off, not sure I trusted my eyes. I took a picture and sent it to Sweetie. No line. Huzzah! Now, to be on the safe side, I’ll continue isolation for another 48 hours. But at least I see an end to this crappy experience.

If I were a social media influencer, I suppose I would have some sun-shiny take on it that ends with a cliche life lesson presented as if it were a profound discovery never thought of in human history. But I’m not, so I don’t. I already wore my mask in public and I’ll keep doing it. I can only withdraw from being out in the world so much, and I’m not going to become a hermit for the rest of my life.

If I learned anything, it was what’s comfortable & what’s not about my bedroom. Until this month, I haven’t spent much waking time there. It’s fine for sleeping. For hanging out by myself, it actually isn’t all that bad, either. I have a comfortable arm chair that normally holds a pile of stuffed animals. ** I suppose I could have used a little table to pull in front of it to rest my laptop on. Maybe I’ll make one when I finish the other wood shop projects I have in progress and planned.

That’s it. Some life lesson, yeah? Getting sick sucks. Avoid it if you can. Have a comfy chair in your isolation room. How profound.

* Worst Christmas carol parody ever.

** A big part of me is still ten years old. And yes, they all have names and biographies.

Cheating

April 15, 2020Sam Falco

I had insomnia last night. It wasn’t the kind of insomnia where I’m alert, so I might as well do something. I don’t mind insomnia on those nights. It’s a little extra time to read or write. Often, I don’t even drag the day after those kinds of insomniac nights.

No, last night was the kind of insomnia where I can’t sleep but every cell in my body is weary. Forget getting up to read or write; I couldn’t focus enough to enjoy watching a TV show—not even one I’d seen before. I dragged all day. Coworkers on videoconferences noticed my energy was low. I had to assure them that I wasn’t depressed, but weary.

This is a long way of saying that I don’t have to brainpower to engage with a journal prompt tonight. Two of the three cards I drew from my deck of prompts don’t apply to me. Both are in the genre of wishing you were someone else. The third, though, is juicy. I want to dig into it, but I can’t focus. Tonight, I’m cheating. I’ll save that card for another evening.

Breathe

March 16, 2020March 16, 2020Sam Falco1 Comment

Photo by Fabian Møller on Unsplash

Last Thursday, I had a very stress-filled morning. I had more than twice as much work as I could do in the two hours I had before I left for the airport to fly home. I knew I couldn’t get it all done, but the size of my task list still overwhelmed me.

I have become pretty good at recognizing that paralyzing feeling and I know how to cope with it. I closed my eyes and did a couple of rounds of 4-7-8 breathing. Calmer, I took up the most important task on my list. After finishing it, I used the breathing technique again to maintain my balance. I repeated the cycle until it was time to go. On the way to the airport, I tweeted about it:

Stressed, overwhelmed, and struggling to stay balanced? Try this.

Inhale deeply for four seconds.

Hold it for seven seconds.

Exhale for eight seconds.

Nineteen seconds can give you many minutes of calm in which to focus.

Repeat as necessary.

— Sam Falco (@stfalco) March 12, 2020

The technique is very simple. In case the embedded tweet isn’t visible, here are the steps:

Inhale deeply for four seconds
Hold your breath for seven seconds
Exhale for eight seconds.

Repeat as necessary.

On Friday, I had another stress-filled morning, and I even put a note at the top of my to-do list: “Breathe” is all it says. Every time I finished a task and looked for the next thing I need to do, I saw the reminder to take nineteen seconds for my mental health.

I don’t know why this technique works, but it does. It lowers blood pressure and helps manage stress. Try it when you feel stress. It makes a big difference.

Pick a card

August 19, 2019August 19, 2019Sam Falco2 Comments

alfred-twj-ptN4RL_8bpc-unsplash

When I was a child, I was really into magic. Birthday cash always went to new magic books, gimmicks, and card decks. I performed for friends and family. For the sixth grade talent show, I did a ten minute set of card tricks, coin magic, and vanishing objects. I capped it with an escape from a set of chains that drew gasps and a standing ovation.

And then I just… stopped.

I stopped learning new tricks. I stopped performing. I gradually got rid of all my magical paraphernalia or sold it off at garage sales.

Fast forward four decades.

About a month ago, I decided that I wanted to learn one good card trick. YouTube has tons of them. I found one I liked that didn’t require advanced sleight-of-hand and practiced it every night while I was traveling on business. When I thought I had it down, I performed it for a coworker. It drew exactly the reaction I’d hoped for. Wide-eyes, a gasp. “How did you do that?”

There’s no reaction more gratifying.

I learned a few more and performed them at a party. Fun for everyone. I asked myself, Why did I ever stop doing this? A few nights later, I got my answer.

I was watching another instructional video on YouTube. The trick requires a technique I’d never done. As I watched it for the third or fourth time at reduced speed, a thought surfaced:

I’ll never be able to do this.

And just like that, I was twelve years old, and I was hearing someone tell me all the flaws in my routine. I never really thought about why I stopped, but this gets to the heart of it.

Success hadn’t mattered, applause hadn’t mattered. What mattered was an adult, who should have known better, telling me, You’ll never be good at magic. That stuck. That wedged itself into my mind, and I quit doing something I loved.

That happened a lot. Regardless of the endeavor–guitar, singing, acting, even mathematics–I easily became convinced that I wasn’t any good at it, and that I never would be. I’d get only so far before I’d become discouraged and quit.

I’ve had enough of that.

I purchased videos on a few fundamental techniques of card tricks: false cuts and shuffles, palming methods. I’m watching them, practicing, and learning. Most of all, I’m paying attention to what happens in my mind. Not only am I renewing my love of magic, I’m using it to reprogram those old mental tapes.

Next time you see me, don’t be surprised if I ask you to pick a card.

Photo by Alfred Twj on Unsplash